phillykidd

Been contemplating on so much lately. School, location, jobs it's just all swirling around. At first I wanted to do school and get me a real good job so I could rack up the cash and go back home, but like now is it even worth doing? I love home but maybe home needs to be somewhere else, maybe I need a new home. Or at least a home somewhere else, I get tired of hearing about people in Philly dying it's ridiculous. At first I was joking with Gabby from frustration when I said "I might as well go to the military" but I actually took it seriously. I seen some of my friends and my friend's friends do it and they come home just paid and content. It's not all war with some people like they do actual jobs for people that don't really know much. But then I think could Samantha handle that? Could she handle me being away from home months at a time but with the thought that she is being taken care of. Could I candle being away from her for so long, could I handle all the challenges that would come my way while being there? But then I think about it and I feel as if I'm giving up. Am I really just throwing my creative dreams away just so I could possibly bring the money in quicker? Is this the best decision I just don't know it yet? I seriously don't know smh I look at my friend Mike getting 36k and we the same age. I just want to make life better for my girl, even doing things I wouldn't enjoy doing. I don't know maybe I just need to talk it over with her and see how she feel about it and it could possibly give me my decision there. She so pretty when she sleep I sure would hate to miss that for months. :/