phillykidd

so i don't think i'll be staying in hayti for much longer. just don't feel right here anymore. at one time long ago it was perfect...but more people...more problems. but hey i can't change how people feel about stuff so if i don't like it i should just leave. i'll miss samantha don't get me wrong but i'm tired of this and i really want a job now. i'll send her and dasia money even tho she got a job, just to ya know give her a lil more money for stuff for her and dasia. people think i should stay but what would change? i want to actually do something, shit i don't even have the motivation to exercise down here i been hella lazy man i need to get my routine back. i really wanted to take them but she got a job and family here and st louis and can't take dasia from her dad so yea not going with that plan. ugh i don;t feel good, idk why my stomach just keep hurting for no reason it's not like i got to go to the bathroom :/. man i know imma have to buy the damn security deposit for the phone line in "my" apartment lmao it's basically gonna be mine shit mom never there and she pays the rent she probably not going to pay $80 to get the phone and net back on though so imma have to pay that. i'm mad i never heard addiction by kanye west (3rd song on here) it's ok i guess lmaoo @ that noise he keep making. i guess my attitude towards people has changed cuz i deleted hella people and cussed out a few, i'm starting to seriously not give a fuck for people like i used to. i wish i could travel to seoul or tokyo for a couple of days shit i want to go somewhere i don't want to live sometimes i wanted to just sleep all fucking day but i couldn't it was pissing me the hell off i just can't live like this. this is not what i was going for. i failed my father...i couldnt even be a good enough father, ended up being replaced. i just wanna go back to where noone notices you're a failure...cuz you're locked up in a lil apartment if you're not working. :/

edit: i guess i'll stay. thanks chuck