phillykidd

2011-03-20T03:32:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday Samantha..I love you so much x3 here's a old bday poem I did that I really liked if u don't remember...here it is.

Today is the day the world was blessed with u
With a distinct beauty and a love so true
If there wasnt a sam ionno how i would be
Without no sam there is no me
Never knew a human could have so much effect on the heart
I could never imagine a future with us apart
U stay on my mind throughout night and day
Please dont let this love spell fade away
So be happy today dont be sad and blue
Just remember that i will always and forever love u

SG (trapazoid)

2011-03-18T06:45:00.002-04:00

I'll believe in you, as long as you believe in me. I'm working on my insecurities although I need your help. I'm working to have nothing but faith in you even though of the past events. I keep sticking around because I love you and I know our current situation isn't as great as we want it so I'm trying to work. I'm trying to work towards a happier time. A time where we were always reliant on each other and of course our child for a smile. If there is a God I thank him for Dasia, because without her I wouldn't have the will to want to work. I wouldn't have any type of motivation to deal with the problems we have now and just runaway, because I want her to have a happy home, a room of her own, nice friends to play with...this is somewhat making me tear just to know what the future holds for us. I'm sorry for always accusing you of things, I'm sorry of always breaking down, but if my love for you wasn't so strong, then I would just act as if everything's ok and just go with the flow. I want to be as open with you as I possibly can and I hope that you do the same. With that said I also want you to confront me when I do things you dislike just like I did yesterday. I think it won't be good if we don't respect each others views on things even if I find them to be bull crap or if you find them to be bull crap because I didn't and well...here we are. I don't ask for much or at least don't try I just want us to get back to our prime. I believe that if we work together and help each other because that's what couples suppose to do then we'll be just fine xD. I hope you take my obsession as a healthy one because it's only out of love. I'm not one of them Eminem type fellows that want to kill you if you don't want me, but I'm not quitter either and I won't allow the things that make me happen just detach themselves from my life, besides I remember a midget that was always up under me once upon a time x3. I can't wait til we get our own apartment, I can't wait til we get jobs as nurses (LOL @ the thought of me in some scrubs, I'll be "black scrubs" LMAO @ Peter), I can't wait til we decorate Dasia's room because I want her to have the best I can offer, I'm so stoked for what life has to offer us when we get on our own. I hope we can do something special on our 4 year anniversary there, or wherever for that matter, location doesn't really matter to me. I had to make this blog because I love you and I did a better job of showing it back then but we (the relationship) is a job and with every job you got to work hard, sorry I've been such a lazy employee...but like I said yesterday, please...just please learn to let your guard down, because I got mine down and I don't plan on going anywhere and neither are you so please don't think of me as the 1/2 ass bf I used to be and think of me more as the life partner you said that I am. I love you Sam, can't wait to see what our future holds. Don't let me down babe /_\ < lmao @ my homemade trapazoid. I'll always be by your side, if you didn't know that already of course :).

*Sammy Wammy™ .: ITS THE ROC !!!!
*Sammy Wammy™ .: *throws up a diamond*
*Danny Phantom ™: yea >:O
*Danny Phantom ™: *throws up a square*
*Sammy Wammy™ .: th
*Danny Phantom ™:

(: did I forget to say that I love you? lol
oh and btw I told myself to stop not wanting to things because of my own insecurities so feel free to forcefully make me sing stuff to/with you from now on if idk the lyrics I'll just learn them (shrugs), just trying to take another step towards being a great life partner :]

2011-03-16T15:45:00.000-04:00

I miss us, well, at least the old us. I remember when we could do the simplest things without a complaint about being bored or w/e being said. I remember when we spent almost the whole day together if not the whole day. I remember when we always did it at least 2-3 times a day as if they were meals. I remember always doing stuff together. I remember us being all over each other. Now I feel old, played out, I think I don't feel like I'm good enough for you anymore :/. I don't feel attractive anymore it's like we barely do it and if we do you feel someway if it's longer than 15-20 mins when we used to do it for hours, smh idk I just wish we did it more I really enjoy it and think its an important part of the relationship. We barely do stuff together, I'm either on the computer while you're on the 360 or I'm just sitting there while you're on the 360. I wish I was more fun to you I feel like I'm boring, we barely talk even if you want to argue that down that's my opinion of it. Being in the same room as someone doesn't really count as talking but w/e. I just really missed the times where we were the main source of each others entertainment and joy and pleasure and all that good stuff...but I guess times have changed...sure wish they didn't though....*sigh* that wasn't a unintentional sigh either :'/. Sure could use a time machine right about now....

BOTTLED UP.

2011-03-07T06:23:00.004-05:00

I know this won't be seen seeing as no one looks at this so I'm going to just vent. I have way too much built up and I need to just let it go.

I miss you Mom. So many things unsaid before you left me, just knowing that I have to celebrate your birthday for the both of us next month is hard. I remember when I turned 18 and you said "Oh you think you the sh*t now that you 18 huh?" and I said yeah lol. I wish I didn't leave you, you possibly could still be here if I didn't leave. We could've came to an agreement or something to where you would accept how things would be as far as me sticking by Samantha and Dasia. I just wish I had that chance to talk to you before you left. I was so broken, I felt so stupid for not trying to talk to you. All I can live off of is memories, I miss you so much....I never thought I would lose you at such a young age. It's been over 4 months but the wounds are still fresh, I don't know how I'll ever get over you Mom...I just don't.

Now...on to you...I wish...just for a moment you could see what you do to me mentally. Even when we're in the same room you make me feel so alone. You make me feel like I'm so boring and have nothing to offer to you. "OMG I'm so bored" "Where's Tommy?" *txts Mark*. Only time we actually spend time together is when the internet is messing up, other than that its Xbox from the moment you wake up to the time you go to sleep. I know what you're going to say "what else is there to do?" but you told me yourself you wouldn't spend all your days on it anymore and that we would spend more time together. I honestly get real jealous of your friends because they get way more time with you than I do. And if we're going to go all the way in about it I really don't want to go to Cali. I never did, I wanted to go back to St Louis I honestly enjoyed my time there and thought it would be nice there and you even said we were going to move back there but then all of a sudden you say you're moving to Cali like what's with that? Why Cali? Honestly Why? Why now? Why can't it be later? Why hold off that money when there's things that Dasia need. Clothes? Shoes? Supplies? What about those? And when we get there how the living situation going to work? She already has 4 kids living with her where we going? Sleeping on the floor? I doubt we'll have money knowing how expensive tickets are so what would we do? Who could we rely on? We can't ask Aunt Vicky to support us she tryna do her best with the unemployment she gets every month and you know mama aint gonna have money paying for rent and utilities every month. Yeah go ahead assume that I don't want us to go to Cali cause of him and you would be damn right. I honestly wouldn't know how to trust you under them circumstances. It would be "oh I'm going to visit" and then my mind is clouded with negative thoughts, I could see if he was a friend but he's a ex at the end of the day so there would be no way I could trust you or him to not do anything at all. Think of this, when we were in Philly Diamond was in Fairmount Park (a park in Philly) and she wanted me to come see her and to be honest I was like wow this probably my only opportunity but I said no, why? because even thought my intentions were friendly at best I knew you wouldn't like nor trust that but we were together at that time so I guess things are different...I know I can't stop you from doing what you want but I feel like if I tell you how I feel you'll just push me to the side and will give me a big "fuck you". I hate that you still talk to him, period, on a daily basis at that. I feel like you want to go to Cali for him sometimes...even got a bear named after him :/ even that damn bear pisses me off just by looking at it in the closet. I just don't see why we can't go to St Louis like we originally planned. I mean mama doesn't wanna live there too and I darn sure don't want to leave her. I don't think it's right to make mama live somewhere where she doesn't feel comfortable. She rather go back home to where she know her way and all that. I'm a very jealous person ok? I can't help it, I'm so attached to you I wish we were able to do more stuff together, play games together like we used to, be outside like we used to, spend time alone like we used to. I wish I didn't take offense to you when you said I was too clingy because at the end of the day even when I don't try to show it, I'll always be clingy to you. I love you so much and none of this is to offend you or to trash talk you I just needed to let it go even though I know nothing will change why should it? It's not like you took me back or anything why should you care about how I feel?, even if you do decide to come across my blog and see this it'll probably would be by the time we're already in Cali or something...smh....I'm so dreading that day....Why me :'[ can't I get a 2nd chance at this thing or something? ugh *sighs* I hate love...

Oh and feel free to say I brought this on myself, I just know if we were to trade places, I would handle things a lot different than you. Maybe I'm too nice or maybe you just don't know when a person is sincere but I would do anything to have you all to myself again like I used to. I can't make you stop talking to people or stop doing things but I know I changed a whole lot to save what's left of this relationship, if I still have hope that is. You say I'm your life partner? I'm your everything? I'll sure love it when you start showing it...

AND IF I DIDN'T SAY IT ENOUGH THIS IS NOT TO OFFEND YOU, DISRESPECT YOU OR TO TALK ABOUT YOU. Not like people read my blog anyways v_v

2011-01-04T01:11:00.000-05:00

I'm tired of this. I'm tired of being up one minute and being down the next. I'm tired of doing things I promise not to and go off and do it because of my insecurities. I think I have depression, I barely eat all I try and do is just drink liquids smh this situation is getting the best of me. I'm tired of fucking up because of bullshit thoughts. I'm tired of not doing what I say I'm going to do. I'm tired of everything. Might as well throw me in a box. :/

2011-01-01T02:43:00.001-05:00

So glad to spend new years with her <3
So happy to be alive
These past 2 months have been the hardest ever
But I'm glad that a new year has started and I can leave it all behind
I won't make all these promises no more I'll just stick to 1
Making sure you know that you're the most beautiful and amazing girl in the world.
I love you. Happy New Year.

2010-12-19T23:25:00.002-05:00

I'm glad we're getting close again, I feel like this whole thing taught me a lot and made me learn to ignore the bullshit and trust my own instincts. I'd rather write about it and have you read it when I get home. Can't wait to get there, I love you so much <3.

edit- You're right we don't know what the future holds but I'll do anything and everything to see to it that we're together because I don't give up on things I need and I need you, I hurt you and I think that's why you act the way you do but I'll do everything I can to show you that I'll never hurt you again. You're the one and I'm not giving up I just can't. I know it will take time to show you that I'm different and I'm willing to go through that wait. I'll treat you as if we're already together but give you your space as well. And I won't ever walk out on Dasia, shes my daughter no matter what the blood shows. Like I said before, I'll write everything else and have you read it when I get there. I love you.

2010-12-15T22:04:00.000-05:00

It's hard not to cry everyday that 1 piece of mail doesn't come yet. I miss my family & I want to be there for them. Everyday here is getting more and more depressing. I feel as if I'll cry so hard in joy when I finally get to see my 3 favorite girls. I hate SSA for making such a dumb mistake when I could be home right now :/. My only cure is over 1000 miles away from me and it hurts. Hope to see you soon. I love you so much.

My girl.

2010-12-05T13:17:00.001-05:00

It was too long to put as a msn status so I'm just gonna post it before I end up falling asleep lol. I love you more than you imagine, I know I hurt you and now I have to make it up. I now understand what you meant before when you told me you wanted me all to yourself well now I want you all to myself and I will get what I want because I'm willing to fight for it. I'm selfish for your love, I don't want anyone else to have it, and when I thought it was being given to someone else my body literally gave out but I know it shouldn't even have gone to that point. I will do whatever it takes to make it better which is why I'm working so we can have a better life back at home. I know I didn't show it but you mean the world to me. I literally don't think I could live life without as emo as that sounds I just love you that much I remember at one point you told me I was clingy but I shouldve just ignored it and kept being affectionate towards you. I have a tendency to hide my feelings way too often especially when it comes to interests like even when I say a band is wack or say u listen to them too much I honestly like them. I wish I could've saw my mom one more time before she was gone to thank her for making me a sheltered child because I would've never met you. You're the best thing to me, you're the most beautiful girl in the world and I need to start showing that on a everyday basis. I got real happy seeing your face on cam, my hoody looks good on you I hope please feel free to not take it off at all lol. I miss you so much I can't wait til I get home. I know I've broken promises but this will be my last time making promises because I simply wont break them. I promise I'll have confidence in us and that nothing is going on. I promise that I won't ever leave you again. I promise that I'll spend as much time with you as I can cause I mean the friends I got now not going to be around later in life when I think of it I barely talk to people now all I wanna do is talk to you and darian of course and sometimes gabby. I miss my baby dasia I wish she could be in school :/ is kindergarten necessary? cuz if it isnt she can just jump to 1st grade shit she smart enough. I miss everybody but I miss you the most. I know you might think the way I'm acting is temporary but I promise it's nit that I just realized that I need to stop doing what I'm doing and I know I'm pretty late but I'll work on it. You and Dasia are all I have now I mean don't get me wrong I love your mom and the rest of the fam but I single you guys out the most because you guys are my family. I love you so much that it hurts lol but it hurts good when things are going good and when things are bad well I pretty much can't eat, I pretty much can't sleep and I seriously mean that. I'm not overdoing this or at least I hope I'm not I'm just trying to insure you that I'm no longer that guy that broke your heart last month. I love you baby I hope I can make enough money to make it in time for your birthday I already know what I want to get for you other than mvc3. I also promise that I won't disregard anything that's bothering you so don't feel as if you can't talk to me. I want our communication to be better because it won't work if it isn't of course you already know that. I just want to show you I've changed and I'll keep showing until- wait lol until? nah I'll just keep showing you, period. I know you might not consider us currently together but in my eyes you're mine regardless which is probably why I freaked out all them times smh anyways I can keep going but if I do you won't even bother reading if you haven't already lmao. I love you Samantha, can't wait til I get home, you're the only girl in my world. DS110807

2010-12-03T02:15:00.000-05:00

I shouldve never did anything I did in the past month
Just shouldve paid my dues and went back and instead
I felt the need to stick around somewhere I now don't want to be
SMFH why do I always do this to myself?! >:'/

2010-11-29T07:50:00.000-05:00

Listening to Epik High again. Never realized how much I missed this music. I've been listening to them all day. I miss a lot of things. I tend to dwell on the past but then again what is there good about the present right now? Most of my days are lonesome since the funeral. I've put up a wall to people that aren't my family. People that were once my friends are just considered people I'm willing to talk to on a sometimes basis. I only have a best friend, a kid and a brother now and I have no problem with that. I used to want a whole bunch of friends but what's the point? They're just temporary even when they tell you when they'll always be there. Plus most if not all the friends I had always wanted a relationship as if I owed it to them. I'm just tired of it all to be honest, I just won't put myself in a position where someone likes me just because I'm nice to them. I've had too much time on my hands since last month. All I do is wake up and stay in my room most of the days. I barely eat, I think I'm slightly depressed, but I kind of feel as if I could've prevented it. For one thing I think I could've done more to fix the relationship between me and my mom as well as my brother. I know we all have faults but I don't think it's right to runaway and cut ties with them unless they don't want to be in your life. When I saw my brother crying and I hugged him I felt like I saw the real him for the 1st time. My family always had layers when it came to showing their feelings it was just surprising to see him mature the way he did and not be afraid to show his soft side. I miss my mom so much, everytime I think about her my eyes just start to water. I never thought I would be parentless by age 19 it hurts so bad. I always thought she was a strong woman I never expected this to happen. I don't know how long it will take to accept this, it's still surreal to me. On to other things, I miss my family. I miss the fun we had when we didn't have nothing but a small tv, a dreamcast, and food to maintain. I feel like I was perhaps robbed of that experience when the whole reunion thing came about. I love family but I just wish we had separate homes to be quite honest. I miss my daughter, I hope I don't have to be up here too long I'm not trying to wait til she's 9 to see her again I would feel like I missed out on too much. I miss a lot of the time we spent, I miss the time we could've spent and that I take blame for. I could've did more and it's messed up that it had to take me to be by myself to realize that. I used to always bash you for feeling someway for me spending with my friends but now the tables pretty much turned and I deserve it. I took you for granted for a long time and I know it will take a while to get it back to how it used to be but I'm willing to work for it. I know you probably still haven't got over that breakup a while ago and that's probably why I still feel this distance but hopefully after I get my life together and get a few essentials like the xbox lol we can spend more time together and be happy again. I honestly hate that I barely get to talk to you but I know why it's like that so I'll just be optimistic about it and be a better boyfriend. I love you, you're my best friend and I promise to be better.

2010-08-02T21:50:00.000-04:00

I wish we were by ourselves. I seriously do. It's as if everything went downhill since the "reunion" began. We were never struggling we weren't doing great but at least everything was stable. Now it's like we're struggling all the time. We can't make everyone happy people have to take care of their responsibilities. So why would you try and take care of other people's responsibilities? I don't get it, I don't get how anybody can let themselves be taken advantage of the way she does. When she "helps" out she end up hurting herself. I can't give out loans to people that can't pay back on time or not at all. You don't see me saying I'm going to do something and then wait til it's about that time to do it. I take care of it as soon as possible. I just wish she would stand up for herself and not let people get anything they want. Yeah people won't be happy but who cares we need to take care of what we can handle. Trying to be the hero and carry everything on your back doesn't do you any good. It won't make money fall out the air into your hand, it will just make things harder. I'll just take this lesson in for when I have a child, I'll definitely do my best to see to it that he/she will take care of what they made/started. I just wish Samantha didn't have to suffer. All she ever does is look out for everyone else and what happens? They steal from her, lie to her, always begging as if they done did so much for her. Like leave us alone we're trying to make our lives better and people with their hands out doesn't make it any better. I swear if this keeps going people are going to hate me because I'm going to stop being quiet and speak up. I want to get the hell out of this dumb ass town and go to California so I can get a better opportunity to better my life and Samantha's. I wish my mom weren't so crazy smh I miss being there. I was so close to having at least 2 g's a month and we could have took over that apartment. Maybe I should've just went by myself 1st and then took everything over and came back and got her. No regrets though, I'll just have to find my own way I guess. Ugh man I can't wait til I get a apartment, I'm taking her with me so she can get away from all the mess. 50 g's a year not a lot but it sure not sounding bad right about now. I think I might go on and be what my dad once was (without all the shooting lol) might go for an inside job like my sis did when she was pregnant so her baby wouldn't get capped lol. Police Academy or Art Institute hmmm idk man gonna have to choose one soon I just want to make my dad and my girl proud.

2010-07-29T15:14:00.000-04:00

Been contemplating on so much lately. School, location, jobs it's just all swirling around. At first I wanted to do school and get me a real good job so I could rack up the cash and go back home, but like now is it even worth doing? I love home but maybe home needs to be somewhere else, maybe I need a new home. Or at least a home somewhere else, I get tired of hearing about people in Philly dying it's ridiculous. At first I was joking with Gabby from frustration when I said "I might as well go to the military" but I actually took it seriously. I seen some of my friends and my friend's friends do it and they come home just paid and content. It's not all war with some people like they do actual jobs for people that don't really know much. But then I think could Samantha handle that? Could she handle me being away from home months at a time but with the thought that she is being taken care of. Could I candle being away from her for so long, could I handle all the challenges that would come my way while being there? But then I think about it and I feel as if I'm giving up. Am I really just throwing my creative dreams away just so I could possibly bring the money in quicker? Is this the best decision I just don't know it yet? I seriously don't know smh I look at my friend Mike getting 36k and we the same age. I just want to make life better for my girl, even doing things I wouldn't enjoy doing. I don't know maybe I just need to talk it over with her and see how she feel about it and it could possibly give me my decision there. She so pretty when she sleep I sure would hate to miss that for months. :/

2010-07-13T01:26:00.001-04:00

That Lebron to Miami move had me thinking a lot, like as far as how people feel about certain ways you earn things. It's the same with life, wouldn't you rather buy something from someone that put their all into it and didn't have much before they had a business rather than a place that was owned by a man that just had the money to do whatever? I know I want a success story for whatever I do, something actually interesting. I don't want my dream business to come so easy because then, what's the point of putting your all into something once it's been given to you instead of earned? I hope I don't end up like most people, you can say you won't be a certain way but it gradually happens. "I'm going to help out the community" yet you haven't donated, attended, or helped at any event and you sitting on ridiculously expensive furniture and wearing $300 jeans that u most likely won't wear after the 1st time wearing them. I just don't want to end up another Lebron, promising something and then bail out when I don't deliver just so I can make it easier on myself. Although it's somewhat others fault he ended up the way he did I think it would've happened either way. Anyways I think I'll go to bed soon it's getting late I just wanted to blog, I'm not so committed to it like I used to be.

2010-04-25T01:39:00.002-04:00

Oh boy I member I used to love blogging man this used to be my ventilation room this little new post box lol. I wanna commit to it again :D. It feels weird being 19 I feel old -_- knowing one more year I won't be a teen anymore ugh feels like time flying by even though it's going slow. 2010 hasn't been as exciting as I said I was going to make it for myself but there's still plenty of months left. I got me more friends though :] even though I lost some in the process but eh whatever seem like people have so much expectations of u these days yet they can't meet up to yours. I only got a few serious friends now and a couple that I don't mind talking to whenever they around but the one that surprised me was Gabby. I use to not talk to her a lot but now she one of my top priority friends :D I try to be friendly to everyone but they end up trying to take advantage ain't got time for that anymore :| ehh I'm done for now though think I'll blog again later. ^_^

2010-02-18T12:50:00.001-05:00

I'm going to make a new blog, I can no longer commit to this one, hmm LJ or Tumblr decisions decisions >_<. Bye.

?

2010-01-28T20:49:00.000-05:00

I just realized that I can never find a site that I can seriously socialize on, Samantha got crunchyroll its fun but idk I just can't stick to it and OMGPOP people just play games and get off (as they should) but it would be nice to have friend to talk to on there. I also realized that I don't blog anymore which is weird because I love blogging, it's not like I have to have a SUPER interesting life just to blog, I haven't done what I've wanted to do either, I haven't been exercising, I still didn't pay for my books so I can do school, and I haven't been trying to make friends like wdf Daniel I though we were going to stick to the plan. I have to do school though as much as I love the peace and quiet of a small town I realized being in a moderate city increases your chances of succeeding? I guess hmm can't get that KREVA beat out my head it's annoying in a good way, hmm I kind of miss Philadelphia not the people just the surroundings it's probably because I was always there until I started growing up and wanting to go somewhere other than Jersey, NY, and Maryland, I sure want to go to VA too I got family I haven't seen down there maybe they're more sane than my intermediate I been thinking about talking to my mom again only if she can accept me not staying in Philadelphia anymore and just support what I want to do, and as far as my brother and everyone else, ehh I'll just forget about that, I can't hate people forever I just wish other people would go by that attitude lmao @ I've been ignoring Destiny IM for a long time ehh I think I'm done *runs off* ugh my arm started hurting while typing this I seriously need to work out -_-

2009-12-12T23:08:00.000-05:00

I admit I'm a social "hermit", I don't like a lot of people around me and sh*t but damn I don't think anyone wants to put up with her ANYONE. She's always being loud, she tries to control the kids like they hers, she so damn nosy, she always begging for stuff (like I was going to give her some of my Hickory BBQ Lays ha you out your f*cking mind) anyways she always cursing around the kids and be trying to discipline them. She done tried to clean the room I alwayssss clean....THE KITCHEN and she f*cked everything up :| she put the dish drainer together incorrectly, she layed the utensil in the middle of it as if it doesn't have utensil pockets, and when she cleans the dishes they still be greasy as hell. Like wdf don't you have somewhere to go? I only f*ck with people that I HAVE TO f*ck with but when someone else tries to jump in the family portrait I get pissed off but hey what can I do right? This is mama house and she isn't complaining although I know she wants her out too. All I know is I'm not spending no damn Christmas with her around, nah f*ck that.

2009-12-03T14:38:00.000-05:00

I sure would love to go to school...(sigh) I feel like I don't have much of a purpose anymore....:[

2009-09-04T03:41:00.002-04:00

I would do more but Sam needs to sleep and thinks she's bothering me whenever she's in the same room as me when I'm on the computer. I guess I'll do a more serious blog another time. Ehh.

2009-08-30T01:56:00.001-04:00

I seriously think I'll be dead before the year ends. Yep. :|

What?

2009-08-21T21:30:00.000-04:00

I'm considering changing my url again. I know when will I make up my mind right? I mean Ashley had her link for so long lost it and then took it back, Lizzy had hers for I don't know how long and yet I can't keep a simple url :|. If I do that will be my last url change. I know it's quite annoying. I might just change it to WDFDANIEL just like on my twitter. I'm definitely keeping that because I realize every time I talk to someone they always at least have 1 WDF Daniel? reaction towards me. I had 3 of those moments today so I think I made my point. I need to get some more IM friends, I hate talking to people through social networks sometimes :|. I just want to type and hit enter plus you never have to wait 15 minutes just for them to reply on a IM [unless they're assholes]. Why did I plant cotton on my FarmVille farm knowing damn well I hate waiting for stuff to grow? I'm bored :/ I want to eat a taco :[ or 2 tacos or 3 tacos. It's too damn dark in this room, I hate night that's why I like to sleep early ^_^ unlike these hoodlums that like to stay up all day and then fall asleep. I think I'm done I'm going to try and study spanish now because I've been abusing my brain. Bye >.<

Yeah

2009-08-18T13:25:00.000-04:00

I have a feeling this dream I keep having is eventually going to happen. :/

7eleven

2009-08-11T22:46:00.000-04:00

So I made the sale :D [applause]. That experience trying to convince them that my tv was a good buy made me want to do a job in retail lmao. You know them guys that walk around hovering over people that are looking at something and be like "you need help with anything?" or "you need help choosing something?" I'm not even going to say that I'll just sweet talk them into buying whatever they're looking at lmao. I was all explaining the features of the tv and what it comes with like I work at Radioshack or something I'm glad he bought it. He was a good guy, caucasian which I assumed he was going to be, his girlfriend was nice "this is your apartment? nice!", I like to sell to people that actually NEED it. They just got an apartment and needed a tv for their bedroom so I feel good ^_^. Ugh my stomach is stuffed I went to 7eleven :D. I got these bad boys [googles pictures].

I might stick with virgin mobile I just got it to have a phone to call a cab and call the fam when I got close to home but they got better phones and I hate contracts so yeah eff that, besides who wants to talk after 9 when you can talk after 7 ^_^ I got to buy Samantha a Helio for X-mas lmao ehh I hate spoiling her but I do it anyways. I don't even care that I couldn't been bought me a 360 I just love spoiling her and Dasia. I'll eventually buy one when I get a actual job. Hmm I want to work but also have side cash like the people I be looking at on youtube, they got actual jobs but also get money from being youtube partner I want to do that but what could be my gig? hmm it's hard thinking of something new :| ehh I don't care it'll hit me eventually. [steals Sam ice cream sandwich] nigga was killing my sherbet :|.

Really Nintendo?

2009-08-11T12:41:00.002-04:00

So like I know Madden 10 comes out on the 14th and as most people know I'm a football addict, I saw 360 and PS3 screenshots and I'm like cool but 5 minutes ago I got curious about the Wii and googled it and I got this. :|

PS3 and 360 look just alike right but we see the Wii and it's completely ass. Why do they even make football games for the Wii if they not going to even try to work on the graphics? Wow I'm glad 360s are cheap hardware might not be good but I'll just stick to good ol Microsoft. Maybe next year they'll actually try. :|

For Sale.

2009-08-11T11:23:00.003-04:00

Ugh I really want to make this sale. I hope this Christopher dude is serious, he should be though dude sent me 7 emails talking about it so I assume he wants it. I need to buy a cell phone with a piece of the earnings I just realized that seeing as I will need to call for a cab to take us to the bus station, makes complete sense right? Why is it only 11?! I also got to go get my ID from my mom wherever she's at, probably went back to the hospital, I honestly thinks she likes it there, seeing as the insurance covers everything, might as well move in the damn hospital, free rent [shrugs]. I keep dying at how Samantha's ex, he look so...LMAO, I don't even know, I'll just let him live looking like that, it's a shame really and I seriously don't even like talking about people but that was kind of necessary. Still didn't pack up I'll just do it later tonight after I get a bunch of food and snacks ^_^. I want some candy, I hate the fact that I had a childhood exposed to candy and junk food :[ I hate my 2 cavities but it be so good, I need to eat natural stuff lol I wonder if they really have them honey bars like on Johnny Test lmao [googles].

So.

2009-08-10T14:24:00.002-04:00

I decided to blog again. I tried tumblr for like a week and a half and got bored. People abuse that reblog button I used it a couple times but they use it to the point where they have a new post every 3 seconds :|. Ugh anyways, Wednesday is approaching and I still haven't got the clothes packed up. I need to get on craigslist again one more time and post my tv again. I wish Mike would reply so I can make this sale. I don't want my mom to try and make a possible profit off of the tv I bought so yeah that's not happening. Hmm I might just throw in my dvd player with the tv, not like I need it anyways I got a computer with 2 dvd drives so it's a waste. Lmao I bet my mom think I wouldn't take that stuff she said seriously, I just don't need to even live in the same city as her, she so damn evil. You would think a mother that fucked up your childhood would try and change after they get "sick" but they don't. So my dad's death was an excuse to have me hungry all them years? Always drinking and always in the hospital? Always having me in life threatening situations? Ehh I'm lazy I don't want to get this stuff up :[. [supersigh]

Indepedence Day

2009-07-04T07:50:00.004-04:00

hmm i can finally go to sleep now
that dasia went to the bathroom ugh
it was annoying having to constantly
wake myself up every 5 mins. i havent
blogged on blogger inna month wow isnt
that amazing knowing that i have a reliable
enough connection to post shit. i might get
verizon internet so i can have faster
internet wi fi can only do good at my dad's
house and shit i aint staying there unless
my brother and sister and nephew and niece
werent there plus aint no cable in my room
so fuck that. happy 4th of july everyone
avoid firecrackers to the face at all times
lol @ the meaning of my name got to me
to the point where i deleted alot of ppl
i mean "god is my judge" makes sense
its my version of "i dont give a fuck"
i give people so many chances that they
dont deserve so i had to delete the majority
of people. i might consider getting that
tatted on my arm lol like a dictionary def
or something :) sam looks so peaceful when
shes sleep aww she so small with her cute
lil toes :] i need this job so i can fucking
get this futon i want that shit looks lovely
idc if its 300 i will get that shit fuck this
old on i hate it now after i saw that one lmaoo
and i want the swivel tv stand i saw too shit as
long i got them 2 plus fans i would be good
oh and i need a new ipod my iriver got rather
boring. but yea moral to this blog is idgaf anymore
:) so go out and bbq and play with firecrackers
and accidently burn yourself while i sleep and
fatten myself with food :D peaceee

2009-06-08T07:04:00.002-04:00

i think i should've came to philly by myself
at least in hayti they would always have money
for food even though its not much to do. its
not fun having to borrow money all the time.
i should've just got my life together before
taking on responsibilities. i wanted to be a
"man" so bad i dove in with the sharks only
reason they prolly were hungry at times was
cuz of me anyways :/ not like i had my share
of food money coming in, i was just eating
their food. maybe that just proves how easier
people live without you. if i do get enough
to pay for them to go back for a while, i'll
do it. already came a time within the 1st 2
weeks i failed to provide for them, not
gonna let it happen again. i wasn't being
smart on how to manage my life. always
concerned about being entertained i end
up fucking up stuff. smh oh sweet karma...

2009-06-05T03:54:00.002-04:00

im glad im getting my check soon :) imma get me a new
ipod since the last one ended up in the washer iriver
is cool but i just want the simplicity of a ipod again
and they smaller and got bigger album art :) and i also
gotta get other shit for the apartment. i think i'll check
the mailbox tomorrow it should be there by now wooooo

i'm bored now
and my ribs hurt
oh shit i forgot
threadless got another
$5 shirt sale imma hop on
that thanks lizzy :]

2009-04-08T01:31:00.001-04:00

eminem - we made you.mp3 on repeat
got my iriver and stuff ill blog more
seriously laeter bye.

2009-04-02T14:00:00.002-04:00

so yesterday there was a big ass fight. i'm not going to lie i aint break up the fight so easily because i wanted sam to beat tiara ass but yea i just am so tired of being here. it just gets worse and worse as each day lingers on. this house is a fucking chill spot for mice. the foundation of these apartments are trash the town is small as fuck aint shit here to do. u gotta know people to get a job the people here are ghetto and annoying. i didn't even really wanna come down here i just wanted to be wherever sam was but this shit is ridiculous. after that shit yesterday that was my q to go. i do all this shit for everybody and then when something pop off "i aint family" i bet u tiara better not ask for anything else from me cuz i wont do it. idk if sam gonna go with me but shit i just can't stand no more of this. i need to do something with my life and hayti aint the place man. i just want sam to realize that we can do so much better here. i honestly don't understand how her mom can just spoon feed her. she buys food "this my food i bought it" but eats all the other food and not her own like what kind of shit is that ? when fee acted the hell up he got kicked out idc if she is a girl she aint never going to make it in life. she always act like she don't need noone but yet she be begging. i never met someone so ugly in my life but she is so damn ugly i aint talking about appearance but the shit she do makes her so damn ugly. i'm tired of her pissing of samantha and noone aint doing shit about her just cuz she pregnant fuck out of here that's fucking dumb. i want to go to the park or a corner store and get hella gummy bears for me and sam and brandasia or go to popeyes and get some of that good ass chicken. i wanna actually DO something and hayti aint got shit nothing...period sam mom act like she dont want to go nowhere as much as she talk about moving she always end up getting something else to pay for. fuck the couches get your stuff and save up and move if that's what u wanna do. that storm scared the fuck out of me and i thought that was the time where we was gonna go but idk sam just dont seem to know what she wants to do sometimes. i mean if u hate hayti so much leave. do what makes YOU happy try living somewhere else for a change. cuz man i want a job and get my tuition money up so i can finish school and then college. smh i just wanna do something man...i feel less of a human sitting and laying around all day *sigh :[

2009-03-26T11:16:00.000-04:00

i like this song :] she look pretty in this

2009-03-24T21:58:00.002-04:00

redid my blog i was bored so i'm getting me a iriver lmaoo i know u thinking iriver? df is that? its some mp3 player from reviews it say its good and its only 59.99 for 8 gigs so i'll get it + some gumys :) since lala told me to get em. they better be good like she said they are well there were hella reviews saying they good so i'll give em a shot i should have em by friday/monday imma get samantha some gumys too since dasia chewed her headphones lmao i hope kanye stopped using autotune cuz his verse on here without it was so relieving :| shit i'm tired of it :| @ gorilla zoe fat ass used autotune df? anyone using it now even fucking reed dollaz :| wdf autotune need to just die its annoying now just let t-pain do it he can get away with it. -clicks

2009-03-23T23:21:00.002-04:00

lol @ i keep playing broken toys the beat weird but addictive. i watched raw for the first time in like 2 months? mad randy orton fucked up stephanie mcmahon and HHH and then gonna kiss her while she knocked out i'm mad cena not the champ hopefully he'll beat edge at wrestlemania anyways wdf @ this hostage movie with wesley snipes his dark ass look like he'll play as a bad guy. dasia got picture day tomorrow :D she prolly not even gonna smile like the last picture looking all dead. i wanna get on the phone for some weird reason *waits for my turn* lmaoooo @ this dumb ass dude reheated chinese food while it was in the box with the aluminum handle and the microwave exploded. "u know how to make someone less powerful ? just put dj in front of their name...DJ Abraham Lincoln" lmaoooo -clicks

2009-03-23T13:32:00.002-04:00

"....drop it" i wish the nba playoffs would start already i'm tired of waiting fuck june. cleveland most likely gonna have homefield advantage. that's good because they 30-1 at home only thing that's not good is that the one loss at home was to the lakers which will most likely be the ones they face if they reach the finals, not taking nothing away from the spurs tho just sayin. this kitchen a damn mess again after i just cleaned it. this house gonna stay filthy when i'm not here. idk why but i haven't got on no trains in the past week i just stopped for some weird reason =/. hmm i still don't know exactly what i wanna get wednesday -thinks. unsure about some things but i won't type it. -clicks

2009-03-22T20:37:00.002-04:00

downloaded me some epik high today :] need that new album next saturday hopefully someone will upload it by then. LOVESCREAM the shit i love the whole album i see why people consider them one of the best in hip hop in korea. smh @ my mom didn't call me back when she said she would. she always saying that :/ i wonder if she out the hospital yet. i can't wait til wednesday i want snacks :p lmao i'm such a fat ass. and i wanna upgrade this comp idk if i'm gonna really do it yet i might i know i'll get samantha her headphones tho. i need to get a sansa when that return come since sam gonna listen to that ipod more often i be wanting to listen to music too hmph >:[ 1 minute 1 second video hot lol i never did research what i wanted to all day i think i will now -clicks

2009-03-19T11:59:00.002-04:00

lmaooo that lucky star some funny stuff *wipes away funny tear* they need more anime like that. i want some mcdoubles right about now. in other good news old deadbeat is in jail :3 isnt that great?! u can't call for a nice lil while bitch :) hopefully we'll be gone before he get out. she done forgot about him ahh stuff back to normalll. hmm im finna look at some epik high shit in a min. i still want that big ass case of now and laters. clothes first then now and laters lmaooo imma be cheesin like a big when i get it. imma show it off and everything lmaooo imma even take pics with that shit. im finna upgrade this comp granny tryna upgrade another comp *stamps DS on the tower* this shit is too slow hmm i should see if any more help is wanted around this shitty as town on snagajob lmao i should be a damn babysitter til i get my degree i member when my sister and brother used to pay me for it lmaooo i had mad money too 100 a day and shit lol i'm sleepy but i'll try to stay up for the sake of my samantha. she be extra bored without me XD. ehh lemme look at what this damn town has to offer now -clicks-

2009-03-18T23:32:00.002-04:00

ugh omfg people here are so ghetto it annoys me man. they all loud outside in front of our apartment. i wanna teleport out of here it's so annoying. i member the old times when it was quiet. i hate how it is now it gets on my damn nerves. less noise and less crying and never worrying about food and tp and shit like that. diamond gave me a good idea, to get me a scholarship from fafsa, i miss school and i still want to make better of myself while i still can. and if i get one i won't have to pay nun back anddddd i get a lil change to use on myself and the fam, hopefully itll all work out for me. ugh man wdf with all these ghetto ass people man fuck go home man. lmaoooo @ diamond wants to grab samantha ass and tits, she so gay. aww @ lala bf being a asshole she wants me to call her, i wanna make her feel better :[.

2009-03-18T17:33:00.002-04:00

i did my blog again. yay 2 more days til samantha birthday :D. awww @ she sleep. she so cute she aint wanna sleep yet but she went to sleep that fast lol that's my lil baby she work so hard :]. i wanna find someone under 18 i think my mom put me on rob taxes without telling me :/ that kind of pisses me off but shit like they couldve at least told me they did they keep rejecting samantha return and shit. it's getting on my nerves i gotta call her TONIGHT shit if they did they either find someone else or give me some fucking clothes money i want my aeropostale shoo :|. i can't wait til i turn 18 tho. man just give me a job and i'm getting anything i fucking want. i need to find somewhere where i can establish my credit tho cuz the stores just gonna say "u have no credit" :| but yea i'm bored so imma finish this post. :]

2009-03-13T15:54:00.003-04:00

:| finna get off soon so i thought i would blog before i get off. redid my page today, very satisfied with it def will keep that up for a while. sam home so i'm no longer bored. chanda and fee moving out tomorrow so i'll finally have the apartment to myself seeing as mom never there and if she is she always in her room unless she's hungry. i'm tired of all this screaming and hollering and shit. it gets on my nerve. :| i do one thing and i gotta be talked to like it's a big deal. i aint gonna just watch brandasia under a big ass 200 pound 12 yr old over some damn gum when she don't get off her after i told her to. that's retarted, i just want them to piss off samantha so bad that she'll say fuck it and stay with me for a while i need time away from here man.:| i miss having the kitchen and bathroom next to my room, for some reason apartments are more enjoyable to me everything is right there yu know ? ugh i gotta call ssa so i might just have to get my damn damn ss card replaced. don't feel like getting all my shit back guess us getting our stuff will be delayed for a couple days. :/

2009-03-11T04:23:00.002-04:00

wooo that nap was sexy :] aww @ samantha was clinged to me :D she so cute when she sleep i be feeling all bad when its time for her to get ready for work. i got a tub of ice cream :D and is fucking it up right now as we speak damn this is good. i decided to join them trains so i can get new friends. i guess i won't get mad this time when she get a whole lot of friends and they tryna holla like when she had 83k :| that shit was annoying like wdf i'm on her page hellooooo? :| i want to be in the ks too shit imma get in 2 trains when i'm done this damn post. i got 50 friends so far on the 1st day..couldve got more but this damn computer so fucking slow awww she keep tossing and turning well i aint gonna do a long post cuz i got trains to hop on so yea imma put her clothes in the dryer. pce :D

2009-03-10T04:35:00.002-04:00

lmao so me and tiara actually had a talk for the 1st time ever tonight. i'm mad romeo dumped her just cuz he in illinois now smh i don't fuck with dude no more thought he was smarter than that. he just a user, "when u in st louis..i'll pop up". she wanted sam but hey she got work so i decided to help her stop being so pissed over it. smh @ she told him she love him and he aint say it back, i can't understand dudes like that. he lazy he just want tiara to get a job and a place so he can sit on his ass all day, and the funny thing about it is...he thinks its right....LMAO. hmm i think i need new friends..seeing as i keep deleting people lmao. i gotta get these lil niggas up @ 7 so she can go to work and she can go to school. "man she don't even need him around fuck that nigga" i swear tiara a nigga for that lmaooo. i been here for like 8 months now, wow 2/3 of a year it's been a while, i wanna go somewhere else tho plus i want sam to go to new places ya know? whether its philly or new york or jersey or st louis or shit idk boston? lmao lets go see brittany lmaooo. i'm thirsty :| hmm i'm thinking of making another story...even tho i never finished the other one. idk maybe i'll do the last chapter to that story...then i'll do another story, sam and ash would still be bothering me about it but they forgot but i know they will once they see this blog. lmao @ for some reason i'm typing fast for once in this blog and i'm not even looking at the keyboard lmaoo @ i only use 2 fingers to type fuck how they be tryna show u to type on them programs i just can't do it for some reason. i wanna take dasia to hershey park :].....hmm....u know what, that's not a bad idea for a bday gift...a trip to hershey park! why i aint think of this before?! *looks at calender- one more month til i'm 18! :| finally i get to the epitome of age groups lmao who am i kidding i just glad that i'll have less restrictions andddd i'm going to have my own stuff cuz u gotta be "18 or older" ya know? hmm i might also redo like old blogs that people actually liked. like the past present future one...yea people had alot to say about that one i might redo that one. for some reason i don't wanna like match with samantha anymore in terms of stuff we do, i mean we have shit in common but i wanna do something different ex.: she likes ipods i do too but i prefer sansa and i know u gonna be like ugh sansas are ugly well when yall run out of space or yall battery fuck up i'll still be good cuz i can add more memory and replace my battery so yea :D i just wanna do stuff different like i used to do when i was in philly, i'm always following her like a puppy following a mother dog.hmm lemme look at these old posts i aint got anything better to do for 3 more hours -shrugs*

2009-03-09T10:38:00.003-04:00

so i just thought...since i literally dislike him on some ryu and sagat type shit i thought hmm why not step my game up? got sam up for breakfast before work, ironed her shirt and pants. did dasia laundry, dasia made her own oatmeal it was so cute i gave her the packets she tore off the paper and poured it in held her up for water and she put it in the microwave and closed it. "daddy where are u?" ahh just like old times that felt good to hear that. then she made her own lemonade lmao poured the mix and stirred and added sugar to her oatmeal. i cleaned the dishes also and swept the floor, trying to help out sasha dumb ass so she won't get fired seeing as they monitoring her today LMAOOOO i swear it don't even matter that i helped her work ethic is ass and she doesn't have a routine at all lmaooo "yea we don't like what we're seeing...you're fired". omg i would so laugh at that, i'm getting a new sharpie for sam cuz that other one getting dry and tiara drunk a lil of her oj so yea from now on everytime she drinks some imma just mark it to where its at so we know if someone drunk some cuz i don't want to hear her ranting at all. she gotta get some more tomorrow anyways cuz that shit almost gone, damn she love oj. wonder pets so ass they saving a griffin a griffin tho that shit should be able to save itself it's a mythical creature it got claws and shit. "i'm gonna break my arms so i can go to the doctor" lmaoooo. omg this medicine so fucking nasty, tylenol is going to hell for this. dasia got no tastebuds at all. so yea imma just make lil ol dasia forget about brandon lmao a hint that she starting to dislike him is the most recent day he came she didnt even wanna go out there to see him lmaoooo i told her to go out there she went to another room sam had to look for her lmao thats a damn shame, haha let's hope that happens more often. "sasha a chicken bird" lmaooo at this nigga sitting next to me tryna read this being random i'm tryna think of what to get samantha mom for her birthday. wdf @ dasia drinking this medicine "my titties sticky" i gotta wipe her off -pause- it's gonna be funny to see how he tries to "take care of her" he prolly gonna try and buy her toys and think that she'll favorite him nigga please she forget bout her toys the day after she get them. let him say he still wanna talk to me after i get my clothes and shit i'll talk to him, and make him feel like shit cuz i'm going to let him i know the only dad, and if for some reason he gets "mad" and throws a fist, i'll fuck him up :]. but yea imma make this my routine now. i'll add exercise tomorrow after i get actual rest ya know? i'm mad i'm not even sleepy lmao. i miss sam hmph. D:

2009-03-09T04:47:00.004-04:00

people claim i'm wrong for not liking brandon. only 3 people understand are darian tyquan and chuck and they my brothers so they would have my back. i just don't get how people can just return when they want to and be welcomed. my sister father denied her and my mother and she waited just like sam and he came back so he could be with my mom but guess what? she shunned him out their lives and my dad became everyone dad. fee dad died so he was right under him too...until he got fucked up by my dad lmao. all i'm saying is..u don't need two fathers cuz u never know how the original is going to take it. and i obviously can't stand him. he had my baby outside waiting for him didn't come at all and then had the nerve to do something else for a long time before coming to see her. i get pissed off everytime he call man he disgust me always trying to talk to sam and for a long ass time. fucking third wheel type shit i swear he just throwing up a front to get back with sam. talking about "the love is still there" man fuck him he a user, he just using my fucking daughter and i hate it. shit why don't u give him a fucking award then. noone ever said shit good about me taking care of dasia and i'm fucking 17 i aint obligated to do shit but i do it because i take her as my ACTUAL responsibility and everything was great we were living by ourselves. refrigerator always had food in it. was never noisy. now as soon as people want to come back, drama and shit follows. omg i wish i couldve called them back and say "just stay there plz". i only had one dream..to have my own family and i got it and it's as if noone likes that, why? "i act like a baby", "i'm not mature enough", yet u are the same people that ask me for help all the time. i don't have to do anything because that's what was told me but i do it anyway cuz i like to help but that's just bullshit. people wanna complain about i don't have a job when noone helps me get the required paperwork so uhh....wdf? like i'm going to walk from town to town on foot hell naw u better get the fuck out of here. and brandon don't got a job himself so wdf? he steal beer what a great resume :|. i honestly don't like them being "cool" but i'm not the one to say "stop fucking talking to him" because not only will one complain...many will complain. "why he don't want u to talk to him? he acting real stupid" and shit like that i already know reason why i wont be here for too long anyway i'll be damned if i be in hayti for my bday shit imma do something actually something on my damn birthday fuck that. he wasn't there for her birthdays i bet he don't even know her favorite things..but yet i'm looked at as dad #2. she don't even call me daddy no more just "daniel" she calls him daddy they just had to fucking make her see him. i dont give a fuck if he your cousin if i tell u i dont want her to see him dont fucking take her there thats bullshit noone actually listens to me i say shit and it gets ignored. i said i wanted a job and needed help, noone helped me, i wanted my id, noone helped me, i didnt want her to see him, took her anyway. chuck really made me think, just to pray that they see he just putting on a lil show and not really a good father. chuck a good nigga, his dad denied him too and he aint let him get cool with him when he finally tried to be cool with him at age 21 :|! i swear everyone wanna control samantha life, saying she cant go here and do this and that. let her fucking decide thats why i never say shit cuz i don't want them to try and blame me for her decision making i don't feel like arguing with noone. maybe sam wants to be somewhere other than hayti for once in her damn life, maybe she would like it in philadelphia but no noone thinks about how she feels they just be like "no u can't go", "u gonna have me miss out on my grandchild?" uhh hello? thats HER child you're the grandparent u got a problem file for custody which u will most likely lose cuz sam is not a bad parent. i just hope brandon will be out of our lives soon and everything can be perfect again...i want my family back :/ i shall never share my child. i'm sorry for expressing my anger towards u baby, i just felt like noone had time to hear what i had to say, u know i love you. 16 months :]

2009-03-09T03:29:00.003-04:00

so i don't think i'll be staying in hayti for much longer. just don't feel right here anymore. at one time long ago it was perfect...but more people...more problems. but hey i can't change how people feel about stuff so if i don't like it i should just leave. i'll miss samantha don't get me wrong but i'm tired of this and i really want a job now. i'll send her and dasia money even tho she got a job, just to ya know give her a lil more money for stuff for her and dasia. people think i should stay but what would change? i want to actually do something, shit i don't even have the motivation to exercise down here i been hella lazy man i need to get my routine back. i really wanted to take them but she got a job and family here and st louis and can't take dasia from her dad so yea not going with that plan. ugh i don;t feel good, idk why my stomach just keep hurting for no reason it's not like i got to go to the bathroom :/. man i know imma have to buy the damn security deposit for the phone line in "my" apartment lmao it's basically gonna be mine shit mom never there and she pays the rent she probably not going to pay $80 to get the phone and net back on though so imma have to pay that. i'm mad i never heard addiction by kanye west (3rd song on here) it's ok i guess lmaoo @ that noise he keep making. i guess my attitude towards people has changed cuz i deleted hella people and cussed out a few, i'm starting to seriously not give a fuck for people like i used to. i wish i could travel to seoul or tokyo for a couple of days shit i want to go somewhere i don't want to live sometimes i wanted to just sleep all fucking day but i couldn't it was pissing me the hell off i just can't live like this. this is not what i was going for. i failed my father...i couldnt even be a good enough father, ended up being replaced. i just wanna go back to where noone notices you're a failure...cuz you're locked up in a lil apartment if you're not working. :/

edit: i guess i'll stay. thanks chuck

2009-03-08T00:17:00.001-05:00

i'm ready

2009-03-05T22:02:00.000-05:00

.............................................................................................................................................................................................

2009-03-04T12:40:00.002-05:00

korean is hard work but i wanna get good at it so i can impress samantha :D and then i'll be #1 in the universe (insider). hmm mediacom internet suck they need to get they shit upgraded. hmm last night i actually had a dream =O what? daniel had a dream? usually just be dark lmao. i had a dream me and sam werent together no more :/ but i would come everyday to see dasia. dasia was a teenager and stuff honor roll and shit. sam had all this korean stuff in her room, manga and anime dvds, big plushes, a lil cute korean flag, it was weird cuz she didnt have a bf :| i didnt have noone either, and then one day i decided to come to the house and i sung "still on my brain" to her :| i'm like brain wdf kinda dream is this i don't sing anyways we ended up getting back together :D and then i felt pee in the bed :| dasia need some damn pull ups i cant wait til the 10th lmao hmm i think i'll study again in a min, so i can impress samantha when she watches me take a test :]

2009-03-03T18:00:00.009-05:00

i swear korean rappers the shit when u look at the lyrics. at least they rap about actual stuff i dont care about your ak or your bitch that u fucked last night that you prolly payed smh black rappers slowly decline i only have a tiny circle of american rappers that i actually like. i cleaned this damn room today omg it was so much shit i aint see that was in here now it look all clean :D aint nun on the floor that u could possibly step on and slip and break ya neck. i wish people would quit "bullying" brandasia. she's a baby she gonna fuck something up every 5 minutes, it's called prevention people :|. and don't be a hypocrite specially if u not the original parent. i feel like watching g-dragon put seung ri in that full nelson lmaooo. i found street fighter II the animated movie :D in english :3 the jap one dont got subs and the one sub i found are tiny as SHIT shit look like this what am i gonna do with that ? sam gonna just say she hate the subs so i got the english its funnier anyways cuz of how the cast be cussing lmao "get off me DAMMIT" and i found street fighter II V the series when the fighters were teenagers :] but all the episodes on megavideo D: but someone said if u buffer the video and put it in offline mode the minutes wont count ill see after me and sam watch the movie. she need to come on man i miss her :[ i'm mad i cried myself to sleep cuz i missed her then woke up like 5 mins later ehh that girl get on my nerves making me have these feelings and stuff :| hmm imma shower and change the color of this blog :]

edit: lmaoooo @ i was singing haru haru out loud -runs to shower*

2009-03-01T19:57:00.002-05:00

so i joined twitter yesterday guess that's something else that will keep me from getting bored so easily. i like how people are so worry about what others think. its as if you're paranoid or something so bad you have to write a long ass paragraph about how people talk about you on your bf page that u feeding into it. its foolish, why worry about haters? everyone has them. when u reply back u just making them laugh and wanna keep messing with u just ignore it. people gonna hate u its just life moving on from that why df do sam have 500+ plays on moai :| i mean damn how can u listen to a song 500 times in a couple days thats crazy i couldn't even do that with my favorite songs. idk why but i don't find fred funny he's just retarted. *turns off icarly-

2009-02-27T16:46:00.002-05:00

hmm im satisfied with my new desktop i think i'll do my myspace i just got to think of how the whole thing gonna look like otherwise imma be stuck :/ my stomach hurts from no food but i be tryna not show it so she won't try to cut nobody head off. i think imma make her make me cream of wheat :D hmm thats all thats left that is edible. seems like i just been forgotten when it comes to the whole get food for the fam thing. i always look out for others but don't get it back smh i guess i just don't need to be here if i'm gonna starve to death. i'll call my mom whenever rickelle decides to visit i wanna get me some accu.

2009-02-24T14:57:00.002-05:00

i remember going by those all the time for some reason don't know why but i always did especially when it's raining i find it weird to walk while it's raining for some reason but i do it anyways i guess it's cuz u don't be seeing alot of people outside so it's like you enjoying the city all to yourself you know? i miss having somewhere to walk and sit by and just look at. i miss going to actual stores and not going to another town just to get china men, i miss eating greasy shit from accu pizza and drinking sweet ass lemonade from china men and going to the ricans with $5 and going home with a fat bag of snacks and having free wi-fi and going to 7eleven and just having somewhere to go. smh hayti just a lil old town that's made for old people that don't need nothing to do but eat sleep and shit in their pampers. can't wait to get these taxes done so i can leave. imma look for some free online tax programs that'll actually work. hmm imma stop hiding my interest for asian culture. i always thought if i showed my interest for it sam would think i'm just following or something, i been into korean and japanese stuff since i was lil but never really gave myself the opportunity to get all the way into it, korean food is hella delicious :D, they make me wanna eat any animal i thought squid and octopus was gonna be nasty boyyy that shit was bomb -sigh- i wish i didnt lose them chopsticks they gave me i had them for years til we moved. i want some more, and some korean hoodies with symbols on em :]. hmm can't wait til fee and chanda leave the apartment so i can come back. :[

2009-02-24T14:50:00.001-05:00

man fuck samantha. that'll be all :D

.252

2009-01-24T17:30:00.002-05:00

i dont like her fighting
it scares me. everytime
she gets mad i just want to
go back to when we lived by
ourselves. it was actually fun
and we never was mad or anything
and it was always clean and quiet
and now we dont have that no more
i used to never be hungry and now i
be hungry 5/10 days cuz muthafuckas
wanna be stupid and waste/eat all the
food. smh idc where we would have to go
whether its st louis or philly i just want
my old life back =/

.251

2009-01-19T21:22:00.002-05:00

man....i got MADDEN '09!!!

*looks at brett favre*

man this game the shit wooo even for a ps2

game this shit is off the hook i love it im mad

almost everyone got a pic its never like that

usually a bunch of avatars. and we got spinbrushes

and comforter set and sheets and a big ass pillow

and got dasia some more toys for her bday and a new

belt =D this one more sturdy than my old one im glad

i dont have to hold my pants up no more. and her nasty

ass got baby oil.....so perv. man im playing this shit ALL NIGHT

im so happy i got it woooo i love her :D she so good to me

lmao @ jazzi tho. bitch u lose i win try again u aint gettin

my girl *tats her ass* lmao @ khi, gay ass lying ass nigga

u lose too try again nigga lmaoooo suspect ass niggas man

ehh im finna go rub sam ass while she read this

.250

2009-01-18T04:56:00.002-05:00

*lights candle* gotta get ready for the late night date
=] this will be our 1st real date :D she making spaghettis :p
and im mad hungry so this date gonna be great :] gotta make
this room look a lil better so imma end this blog wooooo >:O

2009-01-17T17:43:00.000-05:00

hmm ok

.247

2009-01-16T16:24:00.002-05:00

ill sure like it when i have a day
to blog about something good...smh

.246

2009-01-15T11:28:00.002-05:00

man can i fucking sleep?!
every fucking day every
damn fucking day i get woke
up cuz somebody else decides
to fuck up the kitchen but no
noone tells anybody to clean the
kitchen the minute they mess it
up they wait until the next day wake
me up out my damn sleep and asks
me to do the kitchen now i cant fucking
sleep and i always end up sleepy cuz
noone ever lets me get a full night sleep
damn make other people do the kitchen
i dont get paid for this shit damn all the time
i get sick of cleaning that nasty ass kitchen
*tap* can u clean the kitchen?
*tap* can u get this stuff off the floor?
*tap* u forgot to take out the trash

:| u gotta be fucking kidding me.

oh 2nd blog of the day click below

click it

.245

2009-01-15T10:58:00.005-05:00

you would think this wouldnt be a issue after 14 months but trust has been a serious issue with you. i dont know maybe you think i'm messing around with my female friends, maybe you think im like them people that be on tv that be having they wives clown em talking about they be cheating on them with other females on the internet. well we going to take this back so i could catch up with the coincedence. when i 1st got here and we had phones who was the one texting most of the time? you. did i trip? no who was the main person u talked to? rell who did you say u could always talk to? not me, rell. who apparently was always there to talk to you? rell. when your phone turned off the 1st time who u wanted to talk to? rell who was always in your myspace status talking about u missed him? rell. now see after all that when i wasnt on anything or texting people i didnt trip but after i tripped that one time where i got it misunderstood u told me that u and him didnt have anything going on and that i shouldnt even think like that and i have even if ya phone was on right now i kno he would be the one u be talking to as i type this blog but i wouldnt be mad about it. so why for some reason u cant trust me with my female friends? u say u aint got shit to worry about but u always accuse me of messing around. all the sarcastic jokes all the attitude changes when i got on yahoo ok u have to realize the only reason i started getting back on yahoo because aint shit in hayti i came here thinking oh i aint got to be on yahoo we gonna be out and shit and i have a job but no aint shit here so thats what made me wanna get back on yahoo and how can u get mad at me for getting on yahoo when i met YOU on there? and we get a lil further into the present, who did u question about when i was on socialstatus? nae if u didnt realize that that one girl that u asked me who that was, was nae. i talked to her cuz she told me the site was cool and we became friends so then u so call get the assumption that i ignored u and decided to hand me my ring back so let go to a new years of 08 what did u say? u would never leave me? u would never break my heart? u took the ring off and handed it back to me u broke the engagement without even thinking of how i'd take it which i constantly still think about today i take that as a dump to be quite honest and aint nothing changing it cuz u said emotions aint a excuse to do anything so yea u basically told me u aint wanna be with me and decided to make up, great fine, so now cuz me and nae good friends u think i like her? ok #1 i got on there to talk to darian and i was talking to her until he got on cuz i wanted to talk to him. nowwww we go into the subject where u assume i tell everybody about us. wrong. only one i talk to about us is darian which be shit that already happened so why cant i tell him he my brother the only nigga other than tyquan that i trust to talk to about shit like that just because u dont feel like u dont have to do that doesnt mean im wrong by doing that u act like i talk shit about u and say i wanna go with other girls i dont i just be talking to him about old shit and get his opinion thats it. i mean come on i been here for 6 months u think imma fuck with someone that lives miles and miles away? seriously? u told me i was tripping about rell now im teling u u tripping about nae, brishee, anyone else u assume i mess with, i dont know maybe u see someone else in me that did u wrong but im not that person. i chose u over my family, i spent my last dollars to be here, i gave up a better oppurtunity for a job and a year of school because i love you but it doesnt seem like thats enough to convince u that u the only one smh even after u handed my ring back my feelings didnt change. and u told me yourself u know i got friends and u wouldnt be mad if i got on yahoo but what do u do? u leave the room. why i be on for hours? cuz u give me neglect by...LEAVING THE ROOM i would get off way earlier if you wouldnt act like that its mad confusing make up your mind. can i have friends or not? even after u took pics that made me feel uncomfortable like them pics in just your shirt and towel and pulling down the shirt i still aint think negative of anything.i be fucking with you when i be tryna act like im nosey and shit but nothing serious. man if u cant trust me i dont know how u expect this to work, its been a year and 2 months man i mean...come on...please just come on..u cant be thinking i would waste my time like this i couldve still been in philly if i wanted to waste time man smh i love you, hope you end up trusting me after this blog.

oh and i like how u took me off ya page, dont worry ill keep u on mine thats if u even care.

.244

2009-01-14T18:09:00.002-05:00

watched john q today i never saw the whole movie
before shit was good i really liked it he was a great
father nigga was finna kill himself just to give his son
his heart idk even 1 person that would do that other
than myself of course today was blah it was ok i guess
i took a lil nap it was mad hot i woke up sweating ugh
theres so much i wanna talk about but i dont feel its
appropriate to talk about right now so ill end this blog.

.243

2009-01-12T16:04:00.003-05:00

hmm i havent exercised yet i need to shit
it makes me not think bout shit and sometimes
that just feels great :|. lmao @ spongebob
woooo football! i'm hungry but i aint finna eat
hmm oh well i wish my mom would call me to
tell me she cool after her 4th operation ehh
and i want my computer sent down here people
act funny with they computer so yeah i want mine
why everytime i get on yahoo darian always on ?
lmao nigga stay on nigga got yahoo in his sleep
i want some corn i think i'll eat some when i
finally decide to eat :| ehh i need to do pushups

-dead- @ kris blog she dumb for that last paragraph

2009-01-12T04:12:00.000-05:00

:| I'm sick of lookin at that long ass blog. This negro needa post something new...SHIT.

FA FA FA :)

'09

2008-12-31T17:28:00.002-05:00

the year i was supposedly was gonna graduate is here. nothing has really gone so good in 2008. i think i was a lil abrasive with my decisions. leaving to see sam right away mistake i fucked up without knowing not because of sam because i didn't know it was gonna be this hard to get shit done in hayti. i would've waited another month and got more money and would've probably had myself in a better position then i do now. so now i still gotta make up a year of school and figure out how the f*ck i'm suppose to get a job anytime soon so i can pay tuition for school then college. so let's review what's coming up this year, 1.21 Brandasia turns 4 :) 3.20 Samantha turns 21 :) 4.18 I turn 18 4.23 Mom turns 48. ehh i'm tired of thinking, i don't want to be here after dasia is finish school i don't think i can make it out in a lil small town it's just not for me some people find their way but i can't find mine. i don't think i should force anything anymore maybe i was right when i thought her being there and me being here was right, people get so used to where they're from that u can't just expect them to not want them to be there, i think i need to stop being selfish and handle things like i always did. she needs to be down here i can't take the city out of her heart, and i can't take the city out of mine. it's just not gonna work like this we got our own responsibilities and people to worry about that we can't stay here or there we gotta be on our own like we was. yea i can't reach my hand through a monitor or phone but that doesn't mean that i'm not there if i think about it we never had fights while we were away. but now, it's just us beating eachother up and getting mad over dumb stuff it doesn't make sense...at all. u got your family to carry on your shoulders and suprisingly now i got mine. 2008 was indeed not my year but i gotta do something in 2009. i gotta get in school i gotta workout i gotta WORK in general for money i gotta get all my papers and stuff worked out i got alot to do that could've been done. i wish i would've did it by now but being here is not getting me nowhere i think imma just go back and forth like i didn't want to do because i'm stubborn hmm i don't want her to leave her family it's not fair she miss them and i would feel bad having her up in philly i don't think she should even visit anymore imma just go whenever dasia finish school i guess i'm not gonna leave while she still in school that's not right. i need to get my stuff together in general it's just a big ol' mess i can't be lazy and wait any longer. 2009 here i come

oh and i don't talk about her i talk about samantha
when u don't want your brother go through what u
went through you'd understand ;) so yea u hush.

.240

2008-12-30T00:12:00.002-05:00

it's boring today. i'm hungry, nothing's on tv and madden is pissing me off by not picking who i want so yea :|. i want a x-box 360 :( imma have to get me one soon i'm tired of seeing niggas play madden 09 that shit look bomb man i want some damn candy :| lmaooooo @ white chicks "i'm gonna have a b.f." hmm i wonder what my mom doing she hasn't called me back yet hmmmm i hope she don't realize i spent a bunch of money off her card on itunes :| then she aint gonna gimme shit lmao hmm i'm finna look for a game to play, i want another bestfriend :| brishee acting like a bitch so yea she can go back to being just a bitch on my list.

.239

2008-12-29T10:23:00.002-05:00

i want candy man. www.candywarehouse.com got fucking everything smh they got a case of 2000 now and laters the chewy kind!!! you know what i would do to that man?!! wooo moving on i'll be 18 in 4 months oh boy i'm getting old. imma get a ice cream cake so i can feel young lmao. i miss my old friends even tho they be around...sometimes. like kris i knew her for almost 3 years and now she barely be on. kalores barely be on shit too many people barely be on only one that still be on is darian cuz his ass know he can't be outside in new orleans lmao fucking murder capital. i talk to ashley but idk whether she don't get my replies sometimes or just decide not to reply or just too busy ehh whatever. this nigga over here listening to 50 laugh and shit and doing crossword puzzles. hmm i think i should do a story again :/ and actually do it hmm i might consider it. man that kitchen better not be dirty when i wake up i cleaned everything and took out 5 bags of trash :| nigga deserve a allowance or something shit i can be a janitor that shit was disgusting now its all clean and shit. i want french toast :( only sam make the good stuff but she lazy i'll just wait til later then hmph i want orange juice -makes her make me some-

so

2008-12-29T06:21:00.001-05:00

new link and new look ehh it could be better oh well im mad cold and i got trash to take out and a kitchen to clean ugh wtf at my fingers getting stiffer as i type shit sam needa get a fucking fan its too damn cold for this window to be open smh ugh imma just stop typing it hurts!!!

ehh

2008-12-25T00:51:00.002-05:00

so the way xmas went was well
how can i say it sucked. i didn't
expect anything but i got some
manly cologne from avon that
sam likes...a lot but yea that's not
what i'm pissed about. i'm pissed
for the fact that people don't know
how to shop for toddlers. u know that
v-smile shit on them commercials
ya know the flashy shit u connect to
the tv so u can "learn and play" ok
so dasia gets that and a cabbage patch
aww u would think that nice right ?
taliyah got a baby laptop and a cabbage
patch so u think its ok right ? wrong
the oldest one brianna gets the most shit
out of the whole family got a damn
boombox a bratz doll some other shit
all i know is she spoiled as shit and
that ain't right at all i thought u were
suppose to take care of the babies
first then u get the big ones first how df
a 12 year old get more shit than a 2,3 and
almost 1 year old ? u know how much
cheap shit u can buy for lil kids that they
would be so happy with ? yes the v-smile
is good but why df do u need it ? they
need TOYS video games can come later get
them some dolls and shit one cabbage
patch aint gonna do them lil barbie peek-
a-boos like 5-10 dollars each get some
of them and the playhouse and shit see
i don't show emotion when it comes to
shit cuz it doesn't change how people feel
9 out of 10 times so i just sdfu but i get
tired of dasia crying. u know how fucking
mad/sad i get when i heard her say
"i don't got a present" cuz brianna got
a whole lot more and then the bitch
got the nerve to take her pizza but u
posed to be older u a fucking baby
in a big ass body i just want to snatch
her ass up and jump on a bus cuz she
don't deserve this everyone always wanna
show shit off in front of her and always
taking shit from her but nah i ain't gonna
show emotion cuz ppl don't give a shit
now why give a shit cuz someone yelled
at u ? smh i know sam don't wanna leave
her mom but when is enough...enough ?
i don't want brandasia always wanting something
when she can have it a whole different way
i get tired of sam and brandasia getting hungry
and it aint no damn food i'm tired of sam always
struggling in this depressing ass town and
i ain't saying philly perfect but shit its better
than this st louis is gonna come later otherwise
we wouldve been there. i aint tryna go cuz thats
where i'm from it's cuz i want us to have better
days than this. this is pure bullshit, it wouldnt
matter if we went to the unemployment office
and tried to look for a job with transportation
it would be much harder than going for a job in
a city with public transportation. i came here to
be with u so we could be happy, well now its
our turn to make sure shes happy. not demanding
a change of thought just want u to think about it
for me. i love you. merry x-mas

2008-12-20T23:55:00.002-05:00

so like im tryna figure out why people say stuff
they don't mean when they're mad or do stuff when
they're mad not dumb shit like yelling or calling
someone out of their name but some major shit
so apparently sam mom don't want me here anymore
all cause her and sam was arguing and i all of a
sudden get brought up like why invite me to stay
at your home if u gonna change your mind over
something i didn't do i didn't argue with you i didn't
disrespect you i aint do anything actually but i was
so called suppose to have a job and stuff when i came
down here when noone volunteered to help me get
a job or anything noone told me i had to do anything
just to come on down but no i'm not welcomed
anymore well i can honestly say i dont care because
i don't wanna be somewhere i'm not wanted why
everytime a arguement pop off i'm brought up like
wow i must really be the problem if i aint do a damn
thing i can go back to philly after christmas and if sam
doesn't want to stay there she don't have to but i'm
not staying here cuz i feel like i'm in the way
"tell him to go back to his momma then"
"ever since he got here u been getting smart"
"momma why can't i have dudes when sam
got daniel living with her" its always me
do yall act like yall like me or something ?
or maybe u just want me around cuz there's
no other man here and yall always need help
cuz i always put everyone before me and it
doesnt make since i could be working and
shit but aint shit here df i posed to do in this
damn town aint no buses no cabs it aint shit
here and im tired of always being the one that
is "the cause of the issue". its been a while since
i had that big fight with her its still got me thinking
bout it idk what to say i never had a girl give me
back something i got for them so it kinda fucked
me up and still does to this day so now im scared
if i say something wrong its gonna happen again and
i never thought i had to be cautious with her but
with the niggas she done fucked with in the past
i dont even blame her but still ehh its hard being on
ya toes all the time

2008-12-08T10:40:00.002-05:00

so like i woke up early this morn
watched sportscenter stayed up
to date with my football and stuff
and came across snoop dogg's
fatherhood on e! i thought oh this
just another ghetto ass reality show
when actually it was good snoop a good
dad his oldest son was slacking off in
football camp and he addressed that
asap. i like that his reputation doesnt
relate to his actual life he actual passionate
about his kids shit i sure wish i had a
chance for my dad to send me to football
camp i would prolly be playing for hayti
high right now if things still ended up the
way they are now lol. his wife nice too
remind me of sam lol she nice but
bossy just like her i find that cute
i guess i can stop being so judgmental
on certain stuff when its not all that it seems
i want dasia to go to college just as much as
snoop wants his son to go to college and
then the nfl so i like that show makes
black celebrities not look bad lmao @
how this nigga making cotton candy
imma start watching this more lol
dasia sleep too hard i wish her ass
would at least say ow when she falls
off the bed and sam hard sleeping ass
needa get up lol but i do need her to sleep
to blog makes me more comfortable to
type my thoughts lmao @ he called cotton
candy nappy haired sugar. i think imma
change my approach a lil as far as
parenting snoop do the same shit
nice but knows when to be hard on em
and gives em they space lmao @ he dont
know how to bake (2 points for me)
i just wanna work already and get my
bachelors man why cant anyone give me
a chance at a job (=[!!!!) i should ask my
mom to bring my computer here once
i get 100% im still sick sooo ehh i wanna
buy sam and dasia things and make them happy
i wanna get my degree so i can do what i want
and get my own money and not worry bout
anything lmao @ snoop "cori should have a
good life until she date...when shes 50" im telling
u i dont want dasia to be with no boys aint noone
finna feel on my baby >:[!!! imma get her some
nasal strips so she'll stop snoring her booty off
and her own bed :| she needs it bad ehh lemme
download some music for the ipod while i still got the
chance. (sigh) i wish i could show sam how much she
means to me....(kisses her in her sleep again) :[

2008-11-29T04:10:00.001-05:00

=/

-sigh-

2008-11-27T10:52:00.002-05:00

sams mean :[
she always hitting on me
*rubs on scar*
ehh its thanksgiving
ash is having duck
my mom prob having seafood
with her unusual ass and khalik
prolly finna just eat all the food
at his house ehh what am i thankful
for? that only one nigga is reading this
blog but yet im still blogging as if lots and lots
of people is reading! :).....:| darian boring *logs off*
ehh nah thats not what im thankful for ill just let
sam know whenever we talk that way i can have
imaginary motherfuckers tryna guess what it is
:) im such a loser :( i wish i could get a job already
*sighs* my life sucks without purpose in terms
of providing.....hmph i wanna work :'(
so i can buy that mean girl thingys with my
moneys and stuff *prays for a job*

2008-11-14T16:47:00.002-05:00

ehh man i really not feeling the situation
im in. its the opposite of what i want.
i cant provide or nun. if i knew it would be
like this i wouldve saved up and help them
move myself =/. aint shit here just a lil patch
of dirt in the middle of nowhere. no oppurtunity
no stores no anything. its so stupid. i watch them
commercials with them household stuff and like
money making ways on the internet and it makes
me feel so down cuz i want that. i wonder how fast
we would go if i had a car and a job. if i had my own
internet buisness or whatever the thing would be
ehh it doesnt matter it aint my time yet i guesss
i feel like a child i dont like it not really manly
it irks me that i feel like shit ehh im done now
i dont feel like doing a long blog cuz then imma
end up constantly typing such as what im doing now
smh i just wish i could prove to anyone that i can
be "somebody" =/......

2008-10-08T23:15:00.001-04:00

ehh im going to bed ill blog another time.

grand reopening

2008-10-06T20:28:00.002-04:00

so i guess im back :|
i dont feel like blogging now
tho just felt like informing for
whoever visits this blog which
i highly doubt is any. hmm.

.gone

2008-07-04T02:46:00.002-04:00

if for some reason youve decided to visit
my blog, this would be pretty much my last
blog. well imma start with a update well im
still not at sams due to issues with finding
my birth certificate and shit so basically
im getting a plane ticket on the 12th supposedly
i know i said that me and sam returning to
yahoo and all but to be quite honest...we're not
we don't have much of a reason to. ill be completely
honest and say i dont have much use for the internet
anymore. reason i was on today because my sister
let me use her laptop for the night so i decided to
buy some old navy hoodies and...blog! lol ive matured
with this time by myself and of course sam. other than tv
shes the only source of entertainment i have left i left back
a hell of alot of friends to be where im at now and i only plan
to talk to...ehh 3 starting the 14th which is the day my texting
is switched to unlimited and thats ashley kalores and lala. i dont
feel as if i have much friends anymore i could log on yahoo right now
if i wanted to. do i want to. no. that yahoo chapter is closed. sam is
waiting and i know shes been waiting for a long time, im tired of having
her wait and im tired of bein here well reason im still here is because
airlines are assholes. u need id in order to board a flight i needed a
birth certificate to get my id and u need a 30 dollar money order to
buy that id why havent i gotten it yet? because that so called return
check i gave up on? comes in the mail saturday afternoon so that id thing is getting
done during the week. i bought the same hoodie as sam now we got matching
ones hehe we wont be on yahoo but i promised one specific female that we
would get on cam for her or do a video of sort which will be soon...idk when
cuz sam aint pay the net bill and that shit is pricey so yea. will i stay for good?
yes. well thats the plan. its all about getting comfortable. if i dont feel comfortable
i dont wanna stay but yea u bet. am i gonna keep in touch with people? sure u have a
cell phone? yea thats the only form of technology ill use right about now ill use net
to order clothes and shit. imma get some old navy jeans and chucks saturday ehh
i cant wait to leave. i told my mom i was gonna leave she was shockingly fine with it
but now shes acting as if we didnt even talk about it which is stupid cuz it doesnt stop
me from leaving duh. wow this blog is pretty long im doing a ashley blog lol hmm do
i feel offended by ashley blog by the way? no. its reasonable. havent talked to her in
how long? ehh idk dont really care right now shell get a text on the 14th so yea. will i
be on myspace? no. sam plans to always be outside with me so i aint gonna have time.
why is this the last blog? dont have time like i said besides sam doesnt want me to be
on the computer while im there unless its reallyyyyy important ehh u can say shes a
bit controling but hey idc if it bothers me i adress it but obviously i agree. i dont know
why i wasted nearly 5 years on the net i mean sam is the reward of course but seriously
this is all ive been doing. talking to u niggas. u prolly not gonna read this cuz u assume oh
he hasent blogged in somewhat days he must be dead....welll FUCK U im living try it. duece

2008-06-11T15:36:00.003-04:00

all the girls standing in line for
the bathroom!!!!! *dances lmao
awww me and sam talked all day
today like we used too =D i was
so happy lol "and whats the deal
with rice?" lmaooo i love her so
much im mad she likes me being
clingy lmao wow at we was
clowning people im mad we both
was falling asleep on eachother
and was still talking lmaooo aww
how cute is that? so like my net
cutting off after tomorrow thanks
to fucking earthlink so i might
have to get sam to order my
ticket or i'll go to shakirah's and
do it myself. i got another baby
sitting gig on saturday ehh i
could use the money i might
use it to get me some white
tees imma tell my mom im
going to hayti but ill just
make it sound as if im visiting
ehh idk i might just leave
and tell her when i get to
the memphis airport as mean
as that is i dont like being yelled
at i dont like being used i dont
like having to repeat the 11th
grade just because of my mom
sam and tracie love me very
much and they my new family
i wouldnt be any happier with
how this is going i thank god
that momma tracie found
something about me good
enough to where she would
open her arms to let me stay
with her. that makes me feel
real special :] imma give her
a big hug when i get in the
house lol tiara still think im
not coming she gonna be
tripping when she walk by
sam room and see me lmao
i can now start over :D im
so glad that i met sam shes
the best thing that has ever
happened :D ever -eats
ruffles and cookies

oh and sam show this to
momma tracie so she can
smile :D

2008-06-10T12:34:00.000-04:00

so like im laying down on
the phone with sam and im
just chillin and shit so
out of nowhere my mom comes
busting in my room talking
about "DANIEL WTF I TELL U
ABOUT CLOSING YOUR DOOR!!!"
bitch yelling and shit and
im not even able to speak
a damn word u just fucking
yapping ya ass off like why
the fuck would u embarrass me
on the phone like that for and
then when i told her fee closed it
she gonna try and say sorry and
gonna tell chanda to bring her fan
in here the fuck i look like a sucka?
i aint gonna say thanks i aint ask
for it. yea its hot but i dont ask
people for shit i ride out on my own
thats how its been and thats how it
always will be. like i was so fucking
comfortable and she come in here yelling
at me smfh like she pushes it each time
go back to fucking rob house man. then
she gonna try and hug me and say she sorry
i pushed her away i really is not gonna
talk to her for a while man she know she
was mad wrong for that i was basically
napping because i had my eyes close just
waiting for sam to say my name so we could
talk about something random smh and now im
pissed shes always the fucking reason im in
a bad mood ALWAYS if u were worried about me
being hot then why the fuck did u buy yourself
a fan? fee and chanda got one in the living room
u got one in your room but what about me? nope
im tired of always being left out. and we got ac
but she too fucking cheap smfh imma calm down and
talk to sam smh she aint worried cuz i been threw
weather worse than this and she would make me go
to multiple stores and shit knowing it would be 100
degrees and shit smh like why dont u ask if i closed
my door first? like seriously people jump to conclusion
so fast and then end up looking stupid and then once
i leave she really gonna look stupid cuz she aint gonna
have anyone to help her, bitch better go back to robs

2008-06-09T23:58:00.003-04:00

so like yea so far i have blogged
for 8 days wooooo go me go me
im tryna blog for a whole month
even when im down at sam's if its
about me just finished fucking her
it will be posted >:O or me whipping
dasia ass for calling me a dumb ass
trick IT WILL BE POSTED >:O lmao
yayers @ i got 100 bucks on my card
i just check i just wished i didnt need
fucking verification that i can have it
being 17 sucks it taunts u =| like youre
right the fuck there but youre not ehh

i had a entertaining dream last night
the closer i get to being there the more
i dream about our 1st day. im not nervous
ill just feel weird when i finally get there like
itll feel weird sam is like well IS a dream girl to
me i would just be shy around her at first but then
like after talking to her i would feel comfortable
i wonder what our 1st kiss gonna be like i cant wait
sometimes i think sam just wants to be held :D
i want to hold so yea connectionnnn =D *ding ding ding
i keep listening to hump music [perv face] imma do some
things to sam to these songs ^.^ cant wait

i get to spend my 1st fathers day
this year :D i feel like a actual dad
i was so happy when dasia told me
she loved me without sam tellin her
to tell me aww @ she always tryna talk
to me while im sleep "daniel wake up daniel
i love u daniel" :D aint she a lil cootie patootie
wooooo cant wait til i get my shizzit together
ehh @ my mom went to get checked out i hope
she doesnt stay i need to get my haircut and i.d.
bruh shoo u aint slowing me down trick >:O ehh i
feel like i blogged enough...dont u :D oh im mad me and
sam was talkin about having a water fight at our wedding
lmao she better get a dress with thick material ionn want
them boobies to show =O lmaoo ehh im tired -yawns
*curls up under sam night :D

2008-06-08T22:01:00.002-04:00

ehhh i want cheese im mad
i popped my pimple today
that shit was nasty b it was
huge. im mad i only got 3 dollars
-sighs imma get some snacks
with it in the morning. i might
go to sleep earlier than sam
so i can actually get up to
wake her lil booty up. ehh
this week i need these things done

I Need My Card Activated (Thanks To Ms.Tracie A.k.a Mommy :D)
Haircut This Shit Is Getting Curly I Dont Wanna Be Confused For A Dark Ass Mexican
I.D. I Need A New One And By Getting One By Myself My Mom Would Have To Give Me My Social Security And Birth Certificate.
Pair Of Chucks. I Wont Feel Right Without Em. Might Get Red Ones

so yea meaning i should be leaving very
shortly. in a matter of maybe a week, 2 idk
i might get a morning flight if thats ok with sam
because everyone be gone in the morning ionn want
niggas wondering why im leaving with a damn suitcase
so yea. speaking of sam golly gee i forgot (nah im playing)
happy anniversary :D. 7 months woooo bring out 7 cheeseburgers
im hungry guh =D lmao she wanna be a lil weenie and not put
mushy shit well i am cuz im cool enough >:O ok here it goes *drumroll*
I LOVE YOU!!! >:O lmaooo there will be no bitchassness in this blog
either :D but yea ily booty butt now gimme some booty :D lmao

*06:

2008-06-07T15:47:00.002-04:00

So Like Previously On This
Story I Started In September That
I Last Updated In January Heres The
Quick Summary: Daveon Is The Main
Character, Went With Joshelle, Wanted
To Marry Joshelle But Was Always Cheating.
Joshelle Got Tired And Left He Settled
Down For A Whore Of His Ex Girlfriend
Ok Imma Do This Sixth Chapter Now.

So Daveon And Javon Watching Sportscenter And
Daveon Is In The Kitchen Making Some Ramen.
Then Javon Hops Up And Screams At The Tv

Espn: Reports Have Told Us That Oakland Raiders Running Back Delonte Davis Is Set To Marry His Fiancee Joshelle Adams Within The Next Couple Of Months.
Daveon: ...My Nigga Tell Me That White Guy Didn't Just Say What I Thought He Said
Javon: Uhhh
Daveon: Tell Me He Didn't Say Joshelle Finna Get Married

Daveon Goes Upstairs In His Room.
Shabinka Wakes Up And Hugs Him.
She Can't Help But See Something Wrong.

Shabinka: Baby Whats Wrong?
Daveon: Look I Don't Want To Talk
Shabinka: Wait I Know U Aint Thinking About Joshelle
Daveon: What Are You Talking About?
Shabinka: That Marriage Shit Been On The Newspapers All Day I Know U Aint Mad
Daveon: Don't Start This Shit Again
Shabinka: No It's Always Been Like This, Did You Forget That U Fucking Left Me For Her?
Daveon: Shit Well I Left U For A Reason
Shabinka: The Fuck U Tryna Say? U Know What Daveon U Going Threw Something And I'm Not Gonna Be Around To Help U Just Too Much Sorry, U Know The Number Whenever U Get Better.

Shabinka Went Back Home, Daveon Mad, Javon Eating His Ass Off
And Alicia Is Knocking On The Door But They Too Lazy.

Javon: Who Is It?
Alicia: Nigga It's Alicia Open The Door
Javon: Alicia Keys? No One No One Nooo-
Alicia: Nigga Oh My God Just Open Up

Javon Let Her In. She Seemed Dressed Up

Alicia: Where Daveon?
Javon: Upstairs Where The Hell U Been?
Alicia: With Family You Know Just...Wait Why You Worried About It
Javon: Tryna Make Conversation
Alicia: Yea Ok Im Going Upstairs

Alicia Goes Up In Daveon Room And
Spots Him Crying On The Bed.

Alicia: Baby Whats Wrong?
Daveon: Man Nothing Man Nothing
Alicia: Aww Its Okay Come To Bff

Alicia Unbuckles Daveon Pants He Not Even Paying
Attention Until He Spots Her Pulling His Pants Down.
He Pushes Her Down.

Alicia: What The Fuck U Do That For?
Daveon: What The Fuck U Doing Tryna Get Some Dick While Im Down
Alicia: Come On Like We Never Did It Before Come On I Want Some Dick
Daveon: Nah Man Fuck That Get Out Nah Stay Im Leaving
Alicia: And Where The Fuck U Think U Going?
Daveon: Oakland.

Ehh I Might Do Chapter 7 Tommorow
Maybe Ill Do It In December Ehh Who
Knows Whenever I Feel Motivated Into Doing
Another Chapter. Enjoy

2008-06-06T00:01:00.002-04:00

ehh so like i changed
my template again the
stripes were annoying me
im just blogging so sam will
have some reason to get
off the phone real fast
and look with her phone
internet lmao she use that
shit like a comp i swear so
like i think sam is serious
about wanting to leave forever
ehh i dont blame her i guess
not like imma come all the
way down there to do the same
thing im doing now thats stupid
lol guess our new addiction
will be video games lmao i can
see us now. tryna use cheat
codes and shit lmao. ehh imma
need sam mom to activate my
debit card so i can get the
fuck out of here.

2008-06-05T13:58:00.002-04:00

lmaooo im youtubing
from dari talking about
her dreads birthday? to
soulja boy surfing lmsooo
im mad he cant surf for shit
ehh i feel like looking at
something nice *looks at
sams pic* ahhh makes me
smile like a lil kid when
he sees a toy commercial
*sighs in joy* cant get
enough of that girl im
mad i was gonna go to sleep
sad cuz i thought we wasnt
gonna be on the phone =[
awww at dasia was tryna talk
to me while i was sleep
"daniel...daniellll. wake up."
she is so cute i swear :[
i dont want her to grow up
at all *cries* but eh not
like i can put something in
her bloodstream that will
keep her 3 forever...hmmm
*goes to a scientist* lmao
but yea im bored imma watch
more youtube, at least until
sam comes home :) and then
we can watch spongebob eh
i want ice cream.

2008-06-05T01:12:00.003-04:00

finally found a damn template geez
i swear blogskins got all the girly
shit hard to find a good one ehh
@ my blog song im mad the video made
me sad. its a love song but its about
how these 2 ppl are in love but they
take a break to find out if they really
meant for eachother im mad the video
seemed so real to me yo asians have such
a good way with portraying things as
if it's all real im mad my mom always tells
me things at the last minute. this guy
coming to appraise the building or some
shit tomorrow and she waits til today
to tell me. i like how she tells me to
clean my room but her room 10x messier than
mine and yet she never cleans it. this isnt
even a home anymore im just living with
people i cant stand smh im mad rob spent
the night knowing he got work in the morning
ehh i hope fee doesnt fuck him up when
he tries to leave. aint my problem tho..

*edit
the robot is a guy thats why hes around the
flowers and ish cuz uhh hes in love and ish? got
something to say about my blog you can
say it right to me sam likes it
thats all that matters anyways just
wanted to clear that up :]

2008-06-04T10:22:00.001-04:00

had a dream last night
didnt really like it.
sometimes i feel as if
my past has grown within
another person and its
repeating itself again smh
idk maybe its just me...

2008-06-03T15:32:00.002-04:00

lol i like how i can just can sit
and stare at sammys pic like all of them
and it aint because i be bored i just
like enjoying her beauty, it makes me
smile knowing that if things werent to
to go the way i want later in life that
i had the opportunity to be with her
shes like one of them portraits u just
cant help but stare at all day and think
youve gotten the message from the portrait
but u havent its weird. i have mixed emotions
for her whether i spazz outof jealousy
or bitch from her playing, its all good. =]

2008-06-03T02:44:00.002-04:00

an imaginary picture is what i see
an imaginary picture of you and me
centered and hung high up on the wall
the look on our faces tells it all
the imaginary picture only appear in my eyes
from the sundown to the sunrise
this picture was created out of love
as beautiful as the stars up above
all the imagination and hard work was due
to the love and care that i got from u

imaginary picture by Daniel Pinion
^.^

2008-06-02T05:00:00.002-04:00

*Dayuum ®: daniel I know im the last person you wanna hear from right now but oh well i don't give a fuck . I cant hide da fact dat i love you :/ but i won't be able to do my moms homework till I get dis off my chest. Soo I just wanted to say you can always run to me. NO MATTER WHAT. I don't care if we ever broke up && i married someone else i will always have open arms to you =\ I wasn't lying when i said i'd love you forever daniel. I guess I hurt you earlier && that's fine. But you can talk to me about anything =/ ANYTHING. Idc. we'll always be best friends if not anything else .

=]

2008-06-01T23:25:00.000-04:00

lmaooo ill never leave philly...
females are so difficult

2008-06-01T00:33:00.002-04:00

ehh i got the money for my
ticket. so the date to go to
hayti is the 15th from the specials
i seen on airtran airlines since
its only $94 i got time to get me
a id and copies of my SS cards and
BC so yea imma work on that. imma get
a haircut and hopefully some clothes lol
im mad jeff vented to my mom about shaq
and mom told shaq i swear u cant trust
denise for shit. im mad she tried to
argue with me and den try and be nice
lmao i wonder how she gonna look wen
i tell her im not returning to philly once
i leave. in other news the carter III was
actually....good =| i like mr.carter the
best cuz of jay-z of course ;] finna
talk to my boodah so yea *stops typin*

2008-05-31T12:21:00.003-04:00

hmm im still sore from yesterday
munchin on sum honey nut cheerios
lol i been actually not eating junk
food the past few days hmm im still
sleepy just was hungry. im not gonna
be on the comp today, i usually like
to spend my weekends with just sam.
we usually just nap and talk on weekends
besides im not getting into that old
habit of gettin on yahoo every damn day
and i kno sam aint doin dat so yea. lmao
@ dat fight yesterday, havent had one
inna while so i guess it was bound to
happen i love her tho fights doesnt make
us think any different *reads milk bottle*
sell by june 8th *eyebrow*

2008-05-31T01:42:00.003-04:00

i got $80 for babysitting
the kids. im not gonna use
it tho imma use dat babysitting
gig to get more money. i dont
think that check is coming right
about now so ill just babysit.
with $50 a day ill be getting $100
each weekend hmm dat would come
handy ehh idk i might get some
headphones tho dey only 10 bucks
=] i need em im tired of listenin
through one ear. my earlobe still
itches smh damn mosquito

2008-05-29T12:58:00.003-04:00

i tryed them detox foot pads
last night if u dont know what
they are nor look like here dey are

i woke up this morning and
took it off and it was like brown
ehh i guess they work idk i got
more imma keep trying em dey so called
suppose to cleanse u lol @ sammy want
some. imma buy her some she such a cutie ;]

2008-05-28T22:03:00.003-04:00

ehh i bought these hot cheetos
like on sunday? and i still aint
eat em. i always get a drink to
go with it so i wont have a hot
mouth but i always kill it =[
me and sam had a deep talk today
=] she so cool wen she talks :]
i like the way she says "supreme"
ahh everything about her is nice =]
like a fresh breath of air *breathes*
ahhh i choked on dust =[ hmm im mad
a mosquito bit my earlobe dat shit
still itches! hmmm imma just drink some
ice water with dem cheetos *gets a cup*

2008-05-27T14:15:00.002-04:00

ehh its tuesday. im mad i
argued with my mom earlier
smh. she tryna pick up the slack
as soon as i wanna leave. i
wonder if she knows im leavin
already? maybe tryna make me feel
bad by leaving? ehh idc too late
for dat. dat check coming i cant
wait! i downloaded my brothers
tax forms smh im a good kid =|
got my 3way and voicemail cut on
i thought my sim card was messed
up but it wasnt ehh i like at&t
customer care dey so nice =] if
only dey had better phones =| maybe
ill reconsider on sticking with dem
hmm i wonder how my 1st day in hayti
will be. i really wonder....*imagines*

2008-05-26T22:59:00.002-04:00

wow me and sam been gettin close
dis past month and u would most
likely thing im lying wen i said
i planned for us to get closer but
imma tell u why i wanted us to
#1 i wanted us to get stronger so
wen i get to hayti we would mature
in our relationship and let go of
dumb shit. #2 because she always had
a hard time with the 6 month thing
so i decided dis was the perfect time
to get closer to show i wasnt going
anywhere, and wen da whole rell and
his girl sleeps on da phone at night
thing came about i thought, why not make
dis a 24/7 thing ? so yea its been great
and i agree with sam it is weird missing
someone u havent even met yet but i feel
u baby becuz i feel da same way. ily bby

2008-05-25T09:49:00.002-04:00

ehh its memorial day
wooo yeaaa woooooo =|
*waves a mini american flag*
the day to have an excuse
to throw a bbq like the 4th
of july since when has these
days sanctify a need to grill
meats and vegetables wen dey
aint do shit like dat wen
they were fighting for independence
or wen dey die dey had a damn
cookout for his memorial tho?
anyways im not goin to my sisters
bbq cuz dat means i cant talk to
sam fuck dat b. wow at last night tho
woooo not gonna get into detail.
sam moan is lovely =] i love her
so much awwie we get closer day by day

2008-05-24T08:07:00.003-04:00

ehhh my last blog made
sam sad so imma do a new
one. ehh i was considering
wat chanda told me a few weeks
back about da whole stl situation
"man if u were to not get dat
check i would still go there
with the lil bit of clothes i
got and jus get a job and den
re-up later cuz at the end of
the day all u wanna do is be with her"
which makes sense cuz i can easily
get $80 for a ticket and my mom got
a lil suitcase so ill just take
dat ehh imma still try and ask rob
if he can get me some clothes.
oh imma stop the random facts
and happy bday lala =] ur gettin old

2008-05-23T19:11:00.003-04:00

"and you always make me
happy but when i look at
it from a different way
you're a constant reminder
of what i always want & need
is always from afar and yes i can
always stay with u from afar
but i get to a point where i
want nothing but to be next
to u. one day itll happen
maybe i hope, but until then
i shouldnt be down about
wanting something dat ill just
have to wait for later in life"
untitled by Daniel Pinion

random fact:i had honor roll for
8 straight school years =]